What could’ve been

I don’t know about you, but every so often it hits me that my life could’ve been very, very different.

Probably because I’m not someone who knew exactly what I wanted, and thereby had many options presented to me instead of having to fight for a specific route. And I guess my parents empowered me with the decision-making authority.

My very first big decision I had to make as a kid was deciding which secondary school to go to. Even with this, I leaned towards school A, but ended up going to school B – thank god because a large number of my great great friends were people I knew from here. Would I have been able to speak better mandarin had I gone to school A? Perhaps. But the joy of being in a girls school (ie school B) was something I thoroughly enjoyed, to be honest. It was a good time to hide from them boys.

Deciding which junior college I wanted to go to was next. And I ended up in the one where I met my ex. No doubt it was clearly scarring experience seeing as to how we’ve left each other’s lives completely, we had good times and I don’t regret having gone through them.

Deciding which university to go to was a close call. But in my university, I met the best group of friends ever and are still in close contact in spite of our hectic lives since graduation. Wouldn’t have had it any other way. I also got to live away from my parents by staying in a hostel with my best friend. I loved that independence though I didn’t love the distance or the ‘book-in’ sundays.

Deciding where to go on exchange – yet another close shave. I had wanted to go to Canada but was rejected. Had I gone there, I wouldn’t have been this head over heels in love with France, French culture, Europe as a whole, etc. I wouldn’t have met these amazing bunch of friends from all over the world (because the French school I ended up in consisted of international students making up 50% of the school population!) and I wouldn’t have met S.

Deciding whether to jump onto the first job offer presented to me was yet another huge dilemma I was going crazy about. Had I taken it, I might be thoroughly unhappy (because it deals with unhappy people), and I would have hated commuting. I would also not have been able to take S around when he came and we may not have ended up the way we are. I would also not have taken up a holiday job at the salad bar, which was so much fun! I loved it, loved the people there and loved what I did for the month and a half!

Lastly, I recently found out that a guy I used to hang out with quite a bit, and used to have a huge thing for, is now engaged. Had anything have happened, things would be so, so different!

For all of above, I say a big WHEW.

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