Ross and Rachel

Watching FRIENDS has become quite a ritual for my flatmate and me. I started right from where it all started. Season 1, episode 1. And now we’ve arrived at season 3.

Of course this meant that Ross and Rachel finally understood that they’re each other’s lobsters, but then in this episode, the unimaginable (but actually imaginable since I’ve watched it a million times already) happened: they broke up.

And it’s still a shock. I imagine being in her shoes and I don’t know what I would’ve done. It made me question everything.

You see, I kind of took Ross’s side most of the time, though nobody did. Even my flatmate (from India) said, “Is he a man from the 18th century?” when he didn’t understand why Rachel thought it’s best to keep him and work separate.

But I disagree. I don’t think he was crazy to be upset about her slipping away from him, because he didn’t know what was going on with her anymore. It’s understandable. I don’t need to be my partner’s colleague, but I’d still like to know what’s going on in my partner’s life, especially when work is going to be a huge part of it.

If my partner suggested a break, (cue history class) I would’ve also said that a break was a lead-in to a break up – it’s a symbol that one gave up and stopped giving enough crap about it. I would’ve thought that it was over too. I don’t believe in splitting up and getting back together because the fundamental need to want to break up in the first place was already there, and who’s to say it won’t be back again? Basically nobody in a strong relationship needs to break up during a fight.

But then Ross cheated, and that sucks. I can’t stand up for him anymore.

It’s a drunkard mistake, but I wouldn’t have been able to accept that mistake either. I don’t know if I’d ever forgive a cheater, and God forbid, I don’t ever have to face that dilemma. But why? How? What now?!

Ok, these characters affect me way too much.


Five reasons why the fiancé is the one.

People in love tend to find reasons why their partner is the right one for them.

In the spirit of this, I’ve decided to name five recent discoveries/happenings that make me happy that I’m marrying my fiancé in two days.

  1. Before he left this apartment some weeks ago, he bought me the exact cereal I like, just to make sure I’ve them for breakfast on the first morning I move back into this apartment on my own.
  2. He, like me, tries not to stress out unnecessarily, although some things are bogging us down – but then finally is ecstatic/overjoyed when it works out. (Our rings are ready for collection on the day the fiancé is flying to me!)
  3. He endures my “can you call me? why haven’t you called me?” nonsense and ends up enduring 1,5 hours of my rambling about the past two and a half days patiently.
  4. He is a superb listener. He listens so well because he genuinely tries to put himself in my shoes when I talk of things.
  5. With him, I’m a fighter, a survivor, a daredevil. Without him, I’ve to reassure myself all over again.

And the best part about telling him about #5 is when he says he feels exactly the same way. Okay, wedding bells are chiming!

PS: Hello Berlin! Although I was skeptical in the beginning, you’ve been kind and funny!

From LDR to LT (Living Together)

Having spent two years in a long distance relationship, you’d think that life is a bed of roses when you dramatically slow-jog into each other’s arms, and passionately kiss each other like each day is your last.

Not quite.

To be honest, I spent the first month getting used to living with the love of my life. Nobody said it was easy – We’ve both been warned (just days before living together) that cohabiting could make or break you. I mean, are you really sure you love the person enough to be able to stand being around them all the time? To see them and their habits in their natural habitat?

I told myself, of course – we’ve spent 24 hours X 14 days together before. I already know him. This should be no different. But it is.

In the first month, I had gone through an emotional roller coaster ride, on both sides of the spectrum. But then we weren’t on holiday anymore, and we have our lives to run. We can’t be spending every minute with each other (as we would while visiting each other during the LDR phase), and we can’t always be 100% loving as if one of us were leaving.

Having said that, one month later, I think we’re in a really good place. We’ve figured a routine that works for both of us, and we have our own lives to lead now. My social life is still not as stable as his (not in a comparative way, but living in a new city does make creating a social circle a little tough) but we’re figuring it out.

We’ve finally both understood how to savour the moments of being together while still being able to give each other space, in this same apartment we both call home, to do what we have to do.

This did take work. We’ve talked about it, debated about it, (I’ve) cried over it, and now for the past few weeks since his return (he spent 2 weeks away for work), I’ve never felt happier!

Last night we had dinner in front of the TV, switching between shows I like to watch and shows that he likes to watch. (They are different.) Then he put on some great music, ready to complete some reading he needed to do, while I needed to study for a test today. But the music was great and his dancing feet triggered a chain reaction, and we danced like it was the 80’s. Finally we put everything away while he read on the coach, and I sat on the floor by the coffee table.

It was some kind of bliss!

Failing to start an argument

After returning from a 2-week long conference away from Berlin, S was busy pouring (yes, pouring) his clothes into the laundry basket.

S: Darling, could you do the laundry tomorrow please?
I: No.
S: How about the day after tomorrow?
I: No.
S: Another day?
I: Never.
S: Ok! I’ll do it!

Argh, how do you get mad at such a boy?

(Yes, I did the laundry.)

One Month Later

Time flew by, and I’ve already left home for one whole month.

Yet just yesterday I got my new SIM card. I have a +49 number now, it is super exciting! However, I’ve currently zero credit in it because it takes up to 7 days for them to validate my bank details.

God forbid I’ve gone through quite enough bureaucratic matters, with registering myself in two cities, getting my bank account unlocked, getting my visa extended, getting the language class going, getting my new SIM card…

The Germans, they’re not always very efficient. I was at the post office and one queue was clearly labelled that it sold stamps, but when I needed to buy an empty box for a parcel, I couldn’t. That had to be paid in a separate line, with yet another queue.

Nevertheless the Germans have been very nice so far. They’re crazy about their orderliness, like their obsessive compulsive need to keep right, and their patience for the traffic light at the pedestrian crossing to turn green.

To the contrary, some non-Germans find the need to be stupid and mean to others of a different race. Can’t understand that yet. It’s like realizing you’re different and then making fun of someone else who’s different for being different. Uh.

Anyway, living with someone has been interesting. In particular, a boy. Specifically, a boyfriend, with whom I spent all my 2 years living apart. I think we’re still adjusting to living with each other.

And finally when I got my SIM card yesterday, S excitedly called me from the kitchen (I was 2 metres away) and he was excited to be able to call me from his mobile phone for free, for the first time! I receive calls for free so I was excited too! He then continued talking on the phone despite sitting down next to me on the couch.

Yeah we’re still weird. Life is good.

I need to pee!

S and I are finally together. We have been since last Tuesday – and it’s been odd since we’ve not been together for so many days consecutively (24/7) in a long time.

Anyway, because we’re so loving, this happened.

I: I need to pee!
S: I need to pee too!
I: Let me go first!
S: No! Let me go first!
I: No, let ME go first!
S: Ok, you can go first.
I: Huh really?
S: Yes.
I: Awwww, this must be love!


Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold.
It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love.
It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough.

I am bold, I am bold, I am bold…

die Hochzeit (Weddings)

I recently just went to the third wedding of this year. To say that age is catching up with me isn’t an understatement. Cue depression.

I also utterly dislike the fact that every wedding comes at a high cost. To us, guests. Weddings in Singapore mean two things. One, there will be hundreds of people there. Two, guests will give red packets (hopefully) comprising more than enough “gift” to cover their costs.

Anyway, it was the most beautiful wedding, most impressionable and the one wedding I enjoyed watching the most despite going with slightly awkward company. (Company is singular in this case – if you were wondering.) It was filled with true joy and surprise, nothing overly rehearsed. Absolutely gorgeous and radiant bride, and a doting groom that kept springing surprises on her.

I loved how they jiggled into a dance down the aisle when they were introduced as man and wife, and how their friends threw them a lunch as a surprise. I loved how her husband surprised her with a dance routine where she tried so hard not to collapse onto the floor into a pile of laughter. I was roaring with laughter to a point I was tearing with joy for her.

Nevertheless, these weddings have taught me that I really only want two things at my wedding:
1) I want to be able to talk to all my/our guests.
2) I want to be able to eat my food.

My poor parents, they’re having a hard time trying to fathom whenever I raise the thought of having a small wedding when my turn comes.

PS: Friends, don’t freak out. I’m not getting married yet.